Read through each step first so that you know exactly what to do.

1. Remember a time when you felt really, really calm – at peace and in control. Fully return to it now, seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard and feeling how good you felt. (If you can’t remember a time, imagine how wonderful it would feel to be totally calm, relaxed, at peace – if you had all the ease, comfort and self-control you could ever need!

2. As you keep running through this experience in your mind, make the colours brighter and richer, the sounds crisper and the feelings stronger. When you are feeling these good feelings, squeeze the thumb and middle finger of your non-dominant hand together. You are associating this particular gesture, with this precise pressure, with the emotions you are feeling in this moment. Run through this memory several times building the feeling of inner peace and calm.

3. Now go through this calm memory at least five more times while continuing to squeeze your thumb and middle finger together to really lock in these good feelings. You will know you have done it enough when all you need to do is squeeze your thumb and middle finger together to easily trigger the same feelings of calm and relaxation and feel them spreading throughout your body.

4. Next, think about a situation that in the past you would have found mildly stressful. Once again, squeeze your thumb and middle finger together. Feel that calm feeling spreading through your body and imagine taking it with you into that stressful situation. Imagine everything going perfectly, exactly the way that you want. See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear and feel how good it feels to be so much calmer and in control in this situation.

5. Now, still squeezing your thumb and finger together, remember that calm feeling of being in control and once again imagine being in that situation that used to seem stressful. This time, imagine a few challenges occurring and notice yourself handling all the challenges perfectly. See what you’ll see, hear what you’ll hear and feel how good it feels to be so much calmer and in control in this situation.

6. Stop and think about that situation now. Notice the difference from only a few minutes ago. Do you feel less anxious and stressed and more in control? If not, just repeat the exercise until you do!

Each time you do this exercise, it will become easier and easier to vividly recall the feelings of relaxation and calm and associate them with your gesture. Calm and peace will then be ‘at your fingertips’ …

If the anchor doesn’t ‘work’ or the feelings are weak, simply check these four things:
1. Were you really were fully experiencing the desired state when you ‘set’ the anchor?
2. Was your timing right?. Did you set the anchor at exactly the moment when you felt the state strongly (at least a 7 on a 1-10 scale of intensity)
3. Is the gesture you are using unique and distinctive – check you don’t use that same gesture in other, contradictory situations.
4. Ensure that when you test the anchor you recreate the gesture exactly as you did when the anchor was created.

If after checking these 4 things repeat the anchor process.


What Next?

Helping people to reduce stress and gain control over their stress level is my passion. If you'd like to explore how I can help you gain control over anxiety and stress, become calmer, more productive and healthier, let's have a chat. Contact me now on 021 056 8389 or email me at

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