We human beings crave security

We want to feel safe and have a sense of control over our lives and well-being. And many of us were feeling secure –until the COVID-19 pandemic arrived. Suddenly our lives were tossed into a sea of uncertainty.

Thanks to the pandemic our lives have been forever altered in ways we don’t yet fully understand. We’re now faced with uncertainty about the things we care about and that are important to us: our ongoing wellbeing and the wellbeing of our children, family, friends, our job security; our savings; our ability to travel, when the pandemic will end and if life will ever return to normal.

Worrying – an attempt to predict the future

Many people are trying to predict the future and avoid unwanted consequences by worrying. The risk with worrying is, that if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves trapped in a downward spiral of endless “what-ifs” and worst-case scenarios about what tomorrow may bring.

We can quickly find ourselves feeling helpless and powerless. And that’s a great recipe for anxiety and stress. For some people that anxiety might just be an uneasy sense of apprehension, for others it will be fear and for some, panic.

It’s important to realise ….

It’s important to realise that no matter how helpless and hopeless you feel, there are steps you can take to better deal with uncertainty, stop unhelp worrying, alleviate your anxiety, and face the future with more confidence.

Use this effective technique to help regain a sense of control

This is a technique that mental health experts say is really effective in helping you manage your uncertainty.

The purpose of the technique is to get you to focus on controlling those things that are under your control and stop worrying about the things you can’t control.

And to do this, it’s best to get the worries out of your head and down on paper.

So, grab yourself a sheet of paper and draw three columns.

  1. At the top of the first column write Totally within my control
  2. At the top of the second column write Out of my control
  3. At the top of the third column write Partially in my control

Now write down all the things you are currently worrying about right now, big, or small, and allocate them to one of the three columns.

Now that you have categorised your worries, you can make action plans to address the worries that are totally in your control.

You put into the ‘Partially in my control’ column those things over which you are unable to completely influence the outcome because someone else (e.g. a member of your family) also has some control. With these worries you have a choice – you can either collaborate with the other person(s) to come up with an action plan, or you can let the worry go.  

For the worries that are out of your control let them go. Tell yourself there is nothing you can do and move on. You’re probably thinking ‘that’s easier said than done, Tony’ and you’ve heard it before, but the reality is that by letting go of the things that are outside of your control, you can refocus your energy towards the things that you do have an influence over.

Letting go of those worries about things that are outside of your control, will most likely, be difficult to start with, but with practice it will turn into a habit and become like second nature as time progresses.

Wise words

These wise words act as extremely useful reminder:

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference”

The wisdom to know the difference – that’s what this worry analysis technique helps you to achieve.

Remember whenever you feel yourself spiralling down into a sea of ‘what-ifs’, grab a sheet of paper and reperform this simple exercise.

Schedule a free, no obligation Discovery Consultation

If you want some help managing your anxiety or stress level simply schedule a free, no obligation Discovery Consultation by clicking here – https://bit.ly/2Z2lmmy . Alternatively you can call/text me on 021 056 8389.

Stay safe, secure and well.

~ Tony

I’m on a mission to help as many people as possible enjoy lives free of unnecessary stress and anxiety. If you’d like my help, or you know someone who would benefit, call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or email tony@tycoaching.nz