When I started coaching some years ago, my goal was to provide stress management coaching to guys.

I was motivated by the fact that in my corporate job I’d been surrounded by a sea of stressed out guys. In fact I was one of them, so I know first-hand how bad prolonged stress can feel and how adversely it can impact on your life.

Having thrown open the doors to my coaching practice, I soon realised I had a challenge on my hands. Although loads of men admit to being stressed out (I meet them all the time) when it comes to doing anything about their stress level they shy away from seeking professional help. In general, it’s difficult for men to ask for help with their stress, or even to acknowledge that they need it, as confirmed by numerous studies.

Why is that?

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to men seeking help for stress?

I believe that the stigma around being labelled with a ‘mental health’ problem is a key factor in the reluctance of many guys to step out of the ‘stress shadows’ and seek help.

But, the fact is, stress in itself is not a mental health problem.

If you’re a guy you might want to read that sentence again – stress in itself is not a mental health problem.

If stress isn’t a mental health problem what is it?

Stress is in fact a cocktail of physical sensations, emotions and thoughts we experience in response to a perceived threat to our physical and or emotional well-being. It’s a natural consequence of our inbuilt survival system working to keep us safe from physical and/or emotional harm.

Yes, long term (chronic) stress can cause mental and physical health problems, and make existing health problems worse but, at the risk of being too repetitive – stress in itself is not a mental health problem.

We experience stress as a consequence of perceiving a threat

Many situations, when we perceive them as a threat to our physical and/or emotional well-being, can cause a stress response in the body. Changes at work, illness, accidents, problems with relationships, family, money or housing can all cause us to experience stress. Even seemingly small daily hassles like someone pushing in a queue can result in us feeling stressed. These events can happen all the time – triggering the stress response over and over again raising our stress level (i.e. the level of stress hormones built up in our body).

We all have a stress threshold and when our stress level raises above this threshold, the accumulated stress starts to impact on how we think, feel and behave. And while some of the emotional and behavioural symptoms of stress overlap with those of mental health conditions like anxiety or depression it’s important to remember (particularly if you’re a guy!) – stress in itself is not a mental health problem.

Stress is avoidable

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read that stress is a fact of modern life and we just have to grimace, be staunch and bear it. Stress (as defined above) is something our body creates and with the right know-how and practice, we can stop our body creating unnecessary, unhelpful stress. We can avoid chronic stress and it’s in our best interests to do so.

The many benefits of proactively managing stress

And guys, the benefits of developing your stress management skills are huge and include enhanced performance in all areas of our lives (including the bedroom), improved health, better sleep, increased sperm count, enhanced mood, improved relationships, and more overall joy from life.

Stress management coaching can provide the help you need

Everyone needs a coach.” ~ Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google

I have a coach. If you want to achieve in sports, you have a coach. When you want to sing well, you have a coach. When you want to act well, you have a coach. When you want to achieve more, you have a coach. If you are looking to develop your business, advance your career, attain financial freedom or financial independence, it makes sense to have a coach. And so when you want to master stress, it definitely makes good sense to have a coach.

When you work in partnership with a coach to help you de-stress and cope with the pressures of daily life, you do so with the aim of developing a set of life skills that will help you achieve all the benefits listed above and more. The focus is on solutions and who you are becoming. That’s why it’s called ‘coaching’ and not ‘therapy’.

What next?

I’m now taking bookings for January for stress management coaching packages. The number of programmes I deliver each month is limited but, when you make a booking with me this month, you secure your place and complete the first step to making 2020 the year you change the way you experience stress for good.

To secure your place call/text me on 021 056 8389 or email tony@tycoaching.nz with your name & number and let’s have a conversation about how I can coach you to start living without the constant burden of unnecessary, unhelpful stress.

Go well


REMEMBER – “When you change your mind you change your life.”

Tony helps people of all ages say ‘goodbye’ to anxiety, stress, depression and trauma in the shortest time possible. His practical, evidence based solution focused approach is designed to enable you to thrive and start fully enjoying life again in the shortest time possible.