As a coach, professional hypnotist and author, I’m acutely aware of the power words have, to influence our feelings and behaviours in all areas of our lives.
The words we use, particularly with ourselves, via our self-talk can either be empowering or disempowering.
And a word I encounter very often in my work as a Performance Mindset Coach is ‘TRY’. ‘
You might be thinking ‘TRY’, that’s just a harmless figure of speech isn’t it?’, but it can, very often, be disempowering.
When we use ‘TRY’, it’s a clue to what we’re really thinking subconsciously – and, perhaps, don’t want to admit even to ourselves – that we’re expecting or assuming failure. It’s also a sign that we don’t really want to commit to any action.
Let’s say for example you have a chance meeting with a former work colleague. You chat away for a few minutes about what’s been happening in the years since you last met and, as you’re about to part and go your separate ways, you say to your colleague, “We must try and get together for a proper chat.”
The underlying meaning is that you’re not committing yourself to another meeting, and as a result you take no action to get in touch with your former colleague.
You can experience the effect of trying to do something right now.
What I want you do is find an object that’s nearby, that’s easy to pick up. And once you’ve found the object – try to pick it up.
Now the chances are some of you just picked up the object, in which case I’d like you to put it back down again, because what I want you to do, is simply try and pick it up.
So go ahead now, and simply try and pick it up.
Okay right now you’re probably not picking up the object, I’m guessing you might just be staring at it, even though I said “Try to pick it up.”
And what this exercise clearly demonstrates is that there’s no actual state of trying, we either do something or we don’t do something. We can’t physically ‘try and do something’.
Another disempowering effect of ‘TRY’ is that it creates doubt – doubt in our own minds and in the minds of others – and suggests that it’s unlikely that we’ll succeed. And this doubt can lead to feelings of anxiety.
The first step to eliminating ‘TRY’ from your vocabulary is to become aware of when you think, or say it as part of your self-talk.
With directed focus you build a growing awareness and so it becomes easier to catch the word. When you do, cancel the thought and immediately replace it with a positive affirmation that declares what you actually want to achieve. For example, instead of saying “I will try and get home tonight in time to play with my kids before they go to bed,” cancel that thought and replace it with “I’m blocking out time in my diary, right now, so I’m free to leave at 5pm today.”
Make the decision now to be alert for the ‘TRY’ word, and not to be satisfied with “just trying” from now on. Either do something or don’t do it. It’s your choice.
By doing and commiting fully to an activity, you’re arming yourself with an empowering belief that you’re going to succeed. Plus you’re removing the doubt that fuels anxiety.
To explore how I can help you take action, so you achieve the things you want to achieve, call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or email firstname.lastname@example.org and arrange a free, no obligation 30 minute, (phone or skype/zoom) discovery consultation.
Have an empowering week.
P.S. I’m developing a free on-line Public Speaking Anxiety mini-course – with the working title ‘Fear Less Public Speaking – Mastering the causes of your fear,’ with a March 2020 release date. If you’d like to be notified when the course is available just email me with your name – email@example.com and I’ll send you the link to the course on launch day.
I’m on a mission to help as many people as possible enjoy lives free of unnecessary stress and anxiety. If you’d like my help, or you know someone who would benefit, call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or email firstname.lastname@example.org