I wasn’t equipped to deal with stress and anxiety.

A decade ago, I was in a job I didn’t like, with no clear understanding of what was expected of me and I reported to a person I’d describe today as a bully boss.

This was a perfect recipe for creating stress and anxiety.

And that’s exactly what I experienced.

I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think straight, I felt awful and I developed a mysterious pain in my abdomen, the source of which, two visits to the doctor and a series of tests couldn’t locate.

I began to catastrophize that I must have an ulcer or perhaps the onset of some awful disease.

And the effect of this thinking was like pouring fuel onto a fire.

In short, I wasn’t in a good mental and physical state.

I wasn’t equipped to help myself.

Back then, I knew nothing about stress and anxiety and so wasn’t equipped to help myself.

Roll forward ten years and there’s not a lot I don’t know about stress and anxiety, I’ve even written a book on the subject. And I’ve arrived at this position, because all those years ago I made it my goal to learn all I could about stress and anxiety, so that I would never have to suffer them again.

And one of the things I learned early in my research was that people use the words stress and anxiety interchangeably and while they both share similar physical and emotional symptoms the thing that differentiates them both, is their cause.

What causes stress?

We experience stress in response to a perceived real and present threat.

There’s some person, or situation or thing happening right now, in this moment that we believe consciously, or subconsciously, is going to harm our physical or emotional well-being.

And the two main real and present threats people in the industrialised world face today, are excessive pressure and unmet emotional needs.

What causes anxiety?

We experience anxiety in response to a perceived future threat.

There’s some person, or situation or thing in our future that we anticipate, consciously or subconsciously, is going to harm our physical or emotional well-being.

The expectation of harm is caused by one or more of the following – unhelpful worry, negative self-talk, or misuse of our imagination.

Anxiety can become self-perpetuating

Anxiety can become self-perpetuating because we worry about the symptoms we’re experiencing, just like I did with my abdominal pain, which results in even more anxiety.

And so we can find ourselves trapped in an anxiety loop that can be difficult to break free of.

I say difficult, rather than impossible, because anxiety is a temporary state not a permanent condition.

I realise that if you’ve spent a lifetime feeling anxious you may find it hard to believe that you aren’t trapped forever, but you’re not.

We were never given a roadmap at school on how to stay stress or anxiety free

The thing is, we weren’t given a roadmap at school on how to stay stress and anxiety free or how to navigate our way out of stress and anxiety should we experience them.

So how can we be expected to manage stress and anxiety if we’ve never been taught the skills and given the tools?

I’m on a mission

That’s why I’m on a mission to give people a roadmap out of stress and anxiety, and to help them develop the skills they need to break out of the anxiety loop, and to find the freedom they want and deserve.

How would your life be if you were stress and anxiety free?

If you’d like some help navigating your way of your anxiety and stress, contact me today on 021 056 8389 or email tony@tycoaching.nz and let’s start drawing your roadmap to freedom.

It’s your life – live it!

Go well.


P.S. I’m developing a free on-line Public Speaking Anxiety mini-course – with the working title ‘Fear Less Public Speaking – Mastering the causes of your fear.’  If you’d like to be notified when the course is available simply email your name to – tony@tycoaching.nz and I’ll send you the link to the course on launch day.

I’m on a mission to help as many people as possible enjoy lives free of unnecessary stress and anxiety. If you’d like my help, or you know someone who would benefit, call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or email tony@tycoaching.nz