Worry
Worry serves an important function in our lives. Without some amount of worry, we wouldn’t stop to consider risks to our wellbeing.
Do you spend too much time worrying?
Like most things in life, too much of a good thing can become a problem.
The number of possible threats to our wellbeing is endless. This means there are so many things we can worry about, from thinking about missing your important deadline tomorrow to something more serious like your future health.
No matter how necessary or realistic this worry (risk identification) thinking is, it can, if it gets out of control, become overwhelming.
How can you limit the number of things you worry about?
One way is to use a technique called the TOP Technique.
This technique requires you to put each of your worries into one of three categories.
- Risks that are totally within your control to mitigate (T)
- Risks that are totally out of your control to mitigate (O)
- Risks that only partially in your control to mitigate (P)
This categorisation allows you to gain clarity over which worries (risks) you can do something about and those that you can’t. The worries (risks) over which you have no control you can then stop worrying about. After all, what’s the point of wasting mental energy and experiencing anxiety on a future event that you have no influence over?
Using the TOP Technique
To begin you need to get the things you are worrying about (the risks you’ve identified) out of your head and onto paper so you can get a good look at them. I suggest you start with just 3 recurring, common worries, that occupy your mind.
Next, think about how much control you have over the future event/situation you are worrying about in terms of to what extent can you control the:
- likelihood of the future event/situation occurring
- impact on you should the future situation/event occur
If you have 100% control over the likelihood, put the worry into the T category.
If you have somewhere between 1% and 99.9% control over the likelihood, and/or consequences put the worry into the P category.
If you have no control over the likelihood put the worry into the N category.
Now that you have categorised your worries, you can:
- Choose to stop worrying about the worries in the N category. If you’re unable to take any risk mitigation action, then you have to accept the risk, and stop worrying about it. I know that’s easy to say, and we’ve all heard it before, but we only have a finite amount of time and energy. By letting go of the things that are ‘Outside of your control’, you can refocus your energies and actions towards the things that you do have an influence over. These wise words a very useful reminder of this:
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
The wisdom to know the difference – that’s the hard part!
2. Next focus your energies and actions on those future events/situations over which you can fully control the likelihood. Take whatever action is necessary to reduce the likelihood of the event occurring to as low as is reasonably practical. Once you’ve done this, if there’s still some possibility of the event occurring, use your ability to control the severity of the impact to reduce that, to as low as is reasonably practical.
3. Once you’ve mitigated the risks you do have control over shift your focus onto those future events/situations over which you have only partial control over the likelihood and consequences. Take whatever action you can to reduce the likelihood of the event occurring to as low as is reasonably practical and possible. Once you’ve done this, take whatever action you can to reduce the impact on you should the event occurring to as low as is reasonably possible and practical.
Once you’ve taken these three steps the anxiety you once experienced in response to each worry will disappear or reduce significantly.
An Example of the TOP Technique in action:
Worry: I might catch COVID.
Firstly, categorise the worry/risk. Is this risk totally in your control to manage/mitigate, totally outside of your control to manage/mitigate or partially in your control to manage/mitigate.
You would, I suggest, put this worry/risk in the P category. It’s partially under your control to manage/mitigate.
Your Risk Mitigation plan might then look like this:
Likelihood
What actions are under my control that, once I take them, will reduce the likelihood of my catching COVID to as low as is reasonably practical and possible?
Limit the number of people I meet and avoid crowded places, maintain the prescribed physical distancing, wearing a mask, keeping the rooms in my house well ventilated, regularly clean my hands particularly when in public, use hand sanitiser regularly throughout the day, avoid touching my eyes, nose or mouth if my hands are not clean, clean surfaces around my home regularly with disinfectants.
Impact
What actions are under my control that, once I take them, will reduce the impact on me should I catch COVID to as low as is reasonably practical and possible?
I can get the COVID vaccination.
If I get cold/flu symptoms I can take a covid test and if it is covid can get immediate treatment.
Look after my health – eat healthy and exercise.
Summary
So, the next time you are spending time worrying about something, write it down, put in a category and if it is outside of your control to mitigate the risk, tell yourself there is nothing you can do, and accept the risk. This ability to accept and let go of worries may be difficult to start with, but with practice, it will soon turn into a habit and become like second nature as time progresses.
Once you’ve accepted worries/risks you can’t do anything about you’re free to focus your time and energy on those risks you can do something about.
Need help gaining mastery over your anxiety or stress?
If you’d like to explore how you can reduce the anxiety and stress in your life let’s have a conversation., Call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or click HERE to book a no obligation consult where we can explore how I can help you.
Here’s to a less anxious life!
Go well
Tony
I’m on a mission to help as many people as possible enjoy lives free of unnecessary stress and anxiety. If you’d like my help, or you know someone who would benefit, call/text me today on 021 056 8389 or email tony@tycoaching.nz
